since I was left alone to ponder deep
and to be without a need to be kind;
to find myself far away from the steep.
Despite the peace, there is chaos within,
a franticness that never seems to still;
strangely enough, much like a fish's fin.
There's just this void that I can't seem to fill.
Before my life was not just about me,
instead I helped the ones that I adore
while secretly hoping they let me be.
Honestly, before peace was just a lore,
a life lesson that I failed constantly
and thus my life has been lived franticly.
I've tried to take it slow to no avail,
ignore the broken promises; good gore!
Yet still I feel as if I always fail,
while always ending up upon the floor.
You see the peace, it never lats for long
it comes in bits and pieces that don't last
depleting me of feeling too damn strong;
and holy hell, does it go by so fast!
In those moments, myself I cannot catch,
always falling down a bottomless pit
and always stopping within a small batch;
and long enough to throw a lonely fit.
It seems the world always abandons me
while all the ones that I adore will flee.
Strangely enough when I've been discarded
when the world seems to be standing quite calm;
in those moments I've noticed it started
it begins to set a quaint, soothing balm.
It's in those moments I've attained my peace
I've managed to catch my breath and my soul;
warmed up by a sudden appearing fleece.
It's not long before the up coming mole,
the deception of having found my home,
a sanctuary to find time and heal
to lay within a warm nurturing foam;
but all too soon both parties try to steal.
My curse is unattainable cease-fire;
my fate? To be consumed by their desire.
