Oklahoma.

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oursummertrees
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Oklahoma.

Post by oursummertrees » December 6th, 2016, 6:24 pm

Feeling the leather of my jacket
As I cross my arms against the rush hour crush
And glancing down to today's pair of black flats
Before being packed in so tight I can no longer see them
I sigh

Buildings blur past in hazy city light
It's winter, and everyone is sniffling or sleeping
I am not invisible as I once hoped
But, no one assumes I'm a backpacker anymore
Small victory

I know the language now and
When to bow, and to what degree
Still I am outside, ever "other"
A yellow dot in a black sea
Gaijin

I made a place for myself here in this city's song
But my heartbeat cannot always keep up with the tempo
And though I've danced through days despite the challenges
Pauses like these come more frequently now
Unbidden

The train rolls into the next station
And I try to pull myself together before the next wave
But I am weak, longing for a sunset painted horizon
And the sweet smell of honeysuckle on the vine
Home






Edit: Gaijin is foreigner in Japanese, or more literally outsider
Last edited by oursummertrees on December 7th, 2016, 9:02 pm, edited 2 times in total.



Farkas
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Re: Oklahoma.

Post by Farkas » December 6th, 2016, 6:32 pm

Hi

Sanctuary, home. Not everyone has the luxury. Enjoy.

Farkas :hat:



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tmtamish
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Re: Oklahoma.

Post by tmtamish » December 7th, 2016, 4:30 am

Dearest Trees,

We who have made our home abroad can see ourselves so clearly in this lovely piece. The first four stanzas build to a crescendo of adaptation and adjustment, almost a justification, of her place in her new setting, but the strength and power of the final stanza belies the comfort and call of "home."

Just beautiful!
T.

(My Oklahoma)



cafeboy
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Re: Oklahoma.

Post by cafeboy » December 7th, 2016, 1:48 pm

There are so many things I love about this. The visuals take me there and I love the small reactions that are very human. Being lost in a size of a city, remembering home. A strong sense of place. Yes, I know this. Exalt!


Mangroves(a haibun)
I Stopped Painting.
comments and critiques welcome

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oursummertrees
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Re: Oklahoma.

Post by oursummertrees » December 13th, 2016, 10:34 am

Farkas, T., cafeboy - thank you so much for your kind words.
I'm missing home a lot these days!

-A.



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Jahaliel
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Re: Oklahoma.

Post by Jahaliel » December 14th, 2016, 5:27 am

The longing in this - I think no matter how far we travel or for how long there is always a part of us that will long for home. You bring a painting to life - a picture of your life, your day and then the wistfulness of the ending made my heart ache. Beautiful writing <3


3 replies for every post

I loved you then, I love you still though we are shadows of our former glory
Though they try to kill us off, we are a never-ending story


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created2write
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Re: Oklahoma.

Post by created2write » December 16th, 2016, 9:31 am

You do bring us in with the imagery your words project and make those who have never lived abroad understand what it would be like to do so. There is a sense of strength in spite of the yearning. Lovely writing. Peace, V


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oursummertrees
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Re: Oklahoma.

Post by oursummertrees » December 19th, 2016, 2:58 am

Thank you Jah and V. I appreciate your reading!

-A.



INFPoet
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Re: Oklahoma.

Post by INFPoet » April 3rd, 2017, 9:55 pm

This is beautiful, and well deserving of the spotlight!
There's such a taste of wistfulness in it, but a serenity/familiarity as well. Like you're settling in and its familiar, but at the same time you're, well, as you put it, a gaijin. It's become home, but never truly will be.
I can't imagine being long away from my home, but somehow reading this I feel lonely, like I am away. The imagery you used is crystal clear in a rainy, city sort of way.
Very well done. I bow to your poetic genius!

~INFPoet


Home is behind, the world ahead,
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadows to the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight...
(J.R.R. Tolkien, LOTR)

Let's Go Mets!

Keep calm and pass the puck to Zucc. LGR

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deadpoet
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Re: Oklahoma.

Post by deadpoet » April 4th, 2017, 10:17 am

In this poem I felt a train of emotions being conveyed. There is deep yearning, alienation, hope and despair in equal measure.
There is a sense of weightless wandering and a longing for the grounding gravity - need I say it? - of home.



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