Undressing

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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karrie
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Undressing

Post by karrie » March 4th, 2015, 11:11 am

She was not so tender with his love,
but I, the tenderest of rare birds
knows the depths of a heart on fire,
for that fire scorches my soul.

He stands in the magic of the moonlight,
unaware of what is about to come,
as my fingers untie heartstrings
and my tongue tastes honeysuckle and lust.

I remove this and that with great abandon,
I get down to the nitty gritty, the bare bones,
the beautiful nakedness of body and soul.
I undress him,

to expose him,
and I admire him,

amazed.



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candlewitch
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Re: Undressing

Post by candlewitch » March 4th, 2015, 11:28 am

sigh...

favorite lines:

He stands in the magic of the moonlight,
unaware of what is about to come,
as my fingers untie heartstrings
and my tongue tastes honeysuckle and lust.

this is just so...magically tantalizing!!!
always, Cat


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everhopeful
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Re: Undressing

Post by everhopeful » March 4th, 2015, 11:38 am

I think it's always a tricky balance to write a heart poem which is so utterly reverential without going overboard, but I think you have achieved it here by managing to mix the more tender emotional side with a vividly depicted physical side. Even though the passion of the poem threatens to become frantic, the speaker (and the poem) retain a sense of controlled fire, before expanding into something deeper, both in terms of the metaphor and the connection between speaker and her lover.
A genuinely lovely piece of poetry and a heartwarming read.



Sasha
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Re: Undressing

Post by Sasha » March 4th, 2015, 1:48 pm

Ooo, careful with the phrasing and imagery, aye?
Like 'hopeful, I, too, thought this was 'well-balanced'; I so like how the speaker is in control, and how she's giving what 'she' couldn't. Love how this was handled with care, 'tender' and 'wild' apply on both content and the poem itself.
I love those line especially: " the tenderest of rare birds /
as my fingers untie heartstrings"

Nice work!

Sash x



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Jerryk
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Re: Undressing

Post by Jerryk » March 4th, 2015, 2:01 pm

Karrie,
you sure managed to write a poem that borders on eroticism, all in the manner of my favorite Roman poet, Ovid--if you have read his "Amores." Yet, your poem is so tastefully done, I can't help but admire it--totally! An excellent write :smile:
Jerry


~verses from an old-fashioned bard; no ambiguities intended~
JerryK aka Alishonak, Snowbells, et al.

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dwells
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Re: Undressing

Post by dwells » March 7th, 2015, 8:14 am

Yow! Karrie this was all-consuming and rare birds are the best! No barnyard rooster this!
The first stanza says it all, and I was expecting something else at the closing but then too that was just me anticipating events wrongly, so a pleasant surprise. Amazing indeed - cheers! - Dan


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Moirae
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Re: Undressing

Post by Moirae » March 7th, 2015, 4:08 pm

I love the softness with which this is written. It balances warm love with cool lust just right. Beautifully done karrie.



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Re: Undressing

Post by jwesley » March 7th, 2015, 9:11 pm

Yep! Definitely strums the heart, among other things. Very well done, my friend.

j.



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Mizzy
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Re: Undressing

Post by Mizzy » March 8th, 2015, 10:16 am

A lovely piece of sensual poetry,
Written from the loving heart of
a tender bird...
and delivered Karrie style !

This brought a smile.......Mick.


“Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish it.” – Unknown

LorettaYoung
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Re: Undressing

Post by LorettaYoung » March 9th, 2015, 2:47 pm

Lovely poem; very erotic, one can easily imagine the feelings of the undressed, with such tenderness; I agree with a ll said above. Really enjoyed this .Loved the first verse, the last two lines very hot and very subtly sensuous. Loretta



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iSurrender
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Re: Undressing

Post by iSurrender » March 9th, 2015, 7:36 pm

i really enjoyed this too. so provacative but tastefully done with word art that leaves one breathless and grinning. :smile:


The heart is the instrument and life is the song.

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inthesemoments
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Re: Undressing

Post by inthesemoments » March 10th, 2015, 12:10 pm

Amazingly entrancing! The images you used hooked me with their class sensuality. Fell i love with this :)


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karrie
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Re: Undressing

Post by karrie » March 18th, 2015, 9:42 pm

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this and for all of the lovely comments :wave:



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Richard Beevor
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Re: Undressing

Post by Richard Beevor » March 20th, 2015, 12:48 pm

tantalizing words and sensual lines all go together to make a beautiful poem of love at its peak of desire :lovey:



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Re: Undressing

Post by Dew » March 24th, 2015, 6:23 am

nitty gritty indeed...almost nuthin is as fun as getting nekid for all the good reasons. hee hee - dew



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Re: Undressing

Post by mangodog » March 24th, 2015, 5:05 pm

WHEW - it's hot in here!!!!!

Or is it just some spicy thing I had for lunch .... :sweat:

As intimate as it can get before the door closes....you've got a way
with words (and other things - :wink: ) Karrie.........


drew



mikecaalaska
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Re: Undressing

Post by mikecaalaska » March 26th, 2015, 9:39 am

Karrie - very beautiful and you had my heart and soul by the end of the second line. Well written - gee, I am guy who wishes I could write like you do. Enjoyed very much.

Mike


The sun is in our heart,
the moon is in our soul,
each day may change,
am just hoping to be here,for awhile,
for each sunrise and sunset.

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karrie
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Re: Undressing

Post by karrie » April 3rd, 2015, 7:23 am

Thank you all so much for reading! :smile:



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