I Chose to Write (villanelle)

Post by **astroannie** » February 7th, 2015, 7:57 pm

Since words elude my tongue, I chose to write
my declaration of intent to woo
upon this page so innocent and white.

Far more than mere affection, I invite
the words and acts that some say are taboo--
since words elude my tongue, I chose to write.

I wish my pen would set your eyes alight,
as all my hopes are placed within your view
upon this page so innocent and white.

Though you may see this note as impolite,
It nonetheless says only what is true.
Since words elude my tongue, I chose to write.

I strive to get each line exactly right
and pray that my sincerity comes through
upon this page so innocent and white.

All afternoon and on into the night
I pondered how to share these thoughts with you.
Since words elude my tongue, I chose to write
upon this page so innocent and white.

Post by **Rainman** » February 8th, 2015, 4:56 am

This is rather good.
I like the restraint in the use of language, by avoiding hyperbole the passion of the feelings is all the stronger.
Flawless diction makes the poem very pleasing on the ear. It's a pleasure to read such an articulate piece.
Splendid work.

Post by **Mizzy** » February 8th, 2015, 8:03 am

Great villanelle Astro...
Very enjoyable to read....
I loved the iamb/pent flow throughout,

Penned from the heart.........Mick.

Post by **Dew** » February 18th, 2015, 8:08 am

I couldn't resist entertaining the possibility that the page so white in the third stanza might be a symbol for an uncovered body. Were there subtle motions toward sensuality or am I just dirty minded? I HAVE been studying Manet's "Olympia" this morning...either way...a beautiful invitation! - dew

Post by **Azfar** » February 19th, 2015, 9:46 am

This is rather... a poem I can relate to, knowing that poetry is something entertaining to both ourselves and our audience as we indulge in the art as this

"my declaration of intent to woo"

line states.

Post by **riversidepoet** » February 28th, 2015, 11:24 am

I love this, one of the best I have read, you have a gem here , know it or not

Post by **rupertpupkin** » March 1st, 2015, 10:49 am

hi. really admiring the skill behind this. A wonderful poem, most deserving of a spotlight. Well done.

Post by **JASON** » March 1st, 2015, 11:55 am

Definitely the right choice for you: choosing to write.
A well deserved spotlight.
On a lighter note - couldn't help noticing the new avatar and
disclaimer at the bottom of the page...
I know a good lawyer - call me.

Post by **astroannie** » March 1st, 2015, 11:56 am

I don't need a lawyer...Ms. William is an amazing artist and I made a deal with her.

And thank you to whoever nominated me. :) I'm surprised and pleased.

Post by **Jim** » March 2nd, 2015, 2:07 pm

I'm very glad you decided to write.
You are one of my favorites here and an inspiration for me.
Congrats astroannie.

Post by **LorettaYoung** » March 2nd, 2015, 3:01 pm

what an enjoyable read; so sensitively sensuous and powerful, yet so subtle and "polite". Great villanelle, exceptional craftsmanship. Congratulation on the spotlight. Loretta

Post by **everhopeful** » March 2nd, 2015, 4:35 pm

There's something about this form, it's so maddening to make it work, but when it's done properly (and this definitely qualifies on that front!) it is like music through words alone. I notice that others have commented on how relatively understated the language is, and that is definitely part of the appeal, yet beneath the surface of that restraint is something incredibly powerful, even forceful, as though the speaker knows she needn't dress up her sentiments because, deep down, she knows the words say it all.
The skill behind the construction of this is truly appreciated and respected, what's more you made it look easy.
Congratulations on the spotlight!

Post by **Josie** » March 2nd, 2015, 10:42 pm

Your choice of the two rhyming end words helped to generate a workable list that blended well with your subject matter. The two lines that were repeated kept this reader focused and wondering about who was this special someone you were wooing. The idea of being able to write what you were not able to say was believable and a helpful strategy to others who want to improve their communication skills. Congratulations on a great villanelle.

Post by **karrie** » March 3rd, 2015, 12:14 pm

I absolutely adore this! Wonderful and congrats on the well deserved Spotlight!

"Wind Form" Poem Instruction · Post by **Windsend** » March 4th, 2015, 12:15 am

Beautiful form and structure. The words flow freely without any hesitation in thought. Congratulations on the spotlight.

Post by **astroannie** » March 4th, 2015, 1:00 pm

There was a prompt on A Nother Forum of "words" and this was to have been my entry. But it evolved.

Post by **SirFleshwound** » March 5th, 2015, 5:17 am

'It is by will alone that I set my mind in motion' I can't help but think of Frank Herbert when I read this wonderful poem. You have created a most delightful mantra, the page is most certainly your friend.

Post by **dwells** » March 7th, 2015, 12:06 am

Lovely Annie - an irrestible appeal to the reader on a very personal level is offered with this page of thoughts, where words are well-chosen and not voiced carelessly to the winds. Love the general appeal also expressed on the poetic art; a fragile thing within shared hearts. Completely captivating.
The double entendre did not escape me either as you described the canvas of yourself in metaphor maybe; tattooing my mind (what's left of it). Both repeating lines were each worthy of a separate poem and an inspired selection in tandem. Congrats on the Spotlight with one of my favorite forms, cheers! - Dan

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