To Me

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Lucivar
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To Me

Post by Lucivar » November 1st, 2014, 5:40 pm

To you, they are building blocks upon the floor,
Nothing less and nothing more.
To me they are fond stories and memories,
Constant friends and enemies.

To you it is a simple house on a quiet street,
A place to stay, a place to meet.
To me it was a home, where I was young
When life was easy, where life was fun.

To you it is just a silver chain,
Nothing special, simple and plain.
To me it is a portal to when she still drew breath,
When I was a child, and knew not of death.

To you it is an object that has no meaning
That invokes no memory, causes no feeling.
But to me it is what takes me home again
Where I can look back and get past my pain

A life can exist in a grain of sand,
In a loved ones photo or an outstretched hand.
It matters not what it means to you
For it is my feelings that make it true.


Hey check out my latest poem, To Me
viewtopic.php?f=17&t

Dew
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Re: To Me

Post by Dew » November 3rd, 2014, 8:03 am

Masterful. EXALT all over the place! The set up contrasts each stand alone as perfect poetry...the last stanza gives them universal significance...it is indeed your feelings that empower these things...and does so without fail! Wonderful! - dew



Lucivar
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Re: To Me

Post by Lucivar » November 3rd, 2014, 5:05 pm

Thank you Dew This piece means quite a bit to me, and Im glad you enjoyed it, best regards-lucivar


Hey check out my latest poem, To Me
viewtopic.php?f=17&t

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Mizzy
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Re: To Me

Post by Mizzy » November 3rd, 2014, 5:25 pm

Great poem Lucivar,
This should strike a chord with most readers,

Well penned sentimental piece......

Mick.


“Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish it.” – Unknown

Lucivar
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Re: To Me

Post by Lucivar » November 3rd, 2014, 5:30 pm

Thank you mick, I appreciate that. I put a lot of emotions into this piece. Lucivar


Hey check out my latest poem, To Me
viewtopic.php?f=17&t

dwells
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Re: To Me

Post by dwells » November 6th, 2014, 10:25 am

Beautiful job on this Gem Josh! Wondering if enemies can be as constant as friends (probably) - just a curious thought your words engendered. Strong finish with you closing definition that speaks to a universal truth. Funny the meanings and memories, attached to or invoked by certain things, on a personal level - cheers! - Dan


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ramfire
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Re: To Me

Post by ramfire » November 6th, 2014, 2:16 pm

Personal things make all the difference and you've captured that truth so well. Each stanza tells of your happiness or pain of remembering what once was. Very well done.



Lucivar
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Re: To Me

Post by Lucivar » November 6th, 2014, 4:53 pm

Thanks dan, the reason I called the memories constant friends and enemies is because as they bring joyous feelings, they leave me longing for days that have since passed, thank you for you kind words, best regards-Josh


Hey check out my latest poem, To Me
viewtopic.php?f=17&t

Lucivar
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Re: To Me

Post by Lucivar » November 6th, 2014, 5:01 pm

Thanks Ram, This piece is very personal to me, as I still must occasionally look back and refocus. These pieces of my past, memories and mementos help drive me forward. Best regards Josh.


Hey check out my latest poem, To Me
viewtopic.php?f=17&t

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Larsen M. Callirhoe
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Re: To Me

Post by Larsen M. Callirhoe » November 12th, 2014, 11:18 pm

Well written Josh and nice to make your acquaintance (me - victor). I know this is an angst piece, but it also works in the sadness section as well I do here believe. Such an intricate personal piece on many levels. I see you bared your heart out hear and in every stanza shows a part of your heart and your mind is completed with the last stanza. Well done. Much enjoyed the read, so thank you for sharing such a heartfelt piece of intimacy dealing with the interwoven workings of your life.

victor


Victor Mike Lash~
Larsen M. Callirhoe~


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JASON
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Re: To Me

Post by JASON » November 19th, 2014, 7:58 am

A great poem - not too angry or resentful - forceful enough to get
your feelings across...particularly liked how the last stanza didn't
start with 'to you', helped to personalize your ending.



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shays1
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Re: To Me

Post by shays1 » December 14th, 2014, 2:36 pm

Such a great ending to this poem, where the speaker finds the strength to stand up for his or her feelings no matter what the outcome to the "you" who seems to be sharing an important part of the speakers life. Good rhymes throughout ending with grandeur through minuscule, and firmness through kindness.


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Josie
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Re: To Me

Post by Josie » December 16th, 2014, 9:28 pm

I liked the strength pictured by the Narrator's words to trust her own thoughts and feelings and yet allow others to be true to who they are. The ending stanza was the extra glue to the earlier stanzas comparing the Narrator's way of thinking to another's point of view.


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BarryC
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Re: To Me

Post by BarryC » December 21st, 2014, 11:59 am

this is a masterpiece



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