Midnight Wile

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
Post Reply
AoR
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts: 880
Joined: April 14th, 2012, 3:16 pm
Location: Locked in an Eternal Genjutsu

Midnight Wile

Post by AoR » September 17th, 2014, 1:35 am

Midnight Wile

A quiet hum, a noiseless drum
Through the murky ripples of water,
A howl or two, praising a moon,
'Neath the cloak of shadows and bark,
Paws stir a rustle of fallen leaves.
The caws of crows echo from the edge,
Traveling a solemn breeze that chills,
Sparks of life and hidden thrill
Keeps the wile alit and wild.


The one who isn't able to acknowledge his own self, will eventually fail.

AuroraRayne
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts: 258
Joined: November 9th, 2013, 10:24 am
Location: River Styx

Re: Midnight Wile

Post by AuroraRayne » September 17th, 2014, 9:52 am

And the pack hunts with the life alive within coming full circle. The life at midnight, solemn, but there. This feels like peace as there's not a care in the world when it comes to the things that stir at midnight.


Forget 3:1, be at least 6:1 for replies to posts!

нас не догонят

"Happiness is not having to lie on the floor dead alone.
Happiness is not having to..."

My Poetry, Etc.
My Previous Poetry, Etc.

User avatar
generictruth
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts: 468
Joined: May 5th, 2012, 11:14 pm

Re: Midnight Wile

Post by generictruth » September 17th, 2014, 10:50 pm

This is such a beautiful form, and the imagery is superb. I can see each line in detail in my head, which is something that doesn't come easily for me, so that can only mean you've done a fine job setting the scene for me haha.


When we hope for perfection
we only see the pain
when we pray for light
there's only rain
Image

everhopeful
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 6714
Joined: April 14th, 2012, 9:21 am

Re: Midnight Wile

Post by everhopeful » September 19th, 2014, 8:03 am

This is strangely beautiful. I say 'strangely' because I get the impression it really shouldn't be beautiful, in fact there's potential for the scene to be quite threatening as only night can be, yet there's something about the level of observation in all of the life that exists at midnight which makes it feel more appreciative than anything else.
It feels a lot like the speaker enjoys the atmosphere of night, even if it sometimes brings about the unexpected!
Excellent OM work.



dwells
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 11233
Joined: August 19th, 2013, 9:04 pm
Location: South Florida, U.S.A.

Re: Midnight Wile

Post by dwells » September 20th, 2014, 1:40 am

The "bark" was a deft double entendre I'd guess AoR and set a bemused tone for what was to follow. Beauty in the soft darkness remembered, if but for a while. Now I'm flashing on Kipling's "Law of the Jungle" for some reason, cheers! That quiet hum is just Mother Nature breathing.


Image
ImageImage Image

User avatar
Josie
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts: 770
Joined: May 27th, 2012, 10:31 pm

Re: Midnight Wile

Post by Josie » September 23rd, 2014, 4:17 pm

Just think, if you took a sleeping pill you would have missed the magical allure of midnight. Your rhymes, alliteration, and word choices added dimension and pleasure for the reader. Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight.


Image Image

LorettaYoung
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts: 984
Joined: April 6th, 2014, 6:03 pm
Location: Woodstock, NY

Re: Midnight Wile

Post by LorettaYoung » September 23rd, 2014, 8:13 pm

Congratulations; wonderful picture of midnight, with beautiful ringing imagery, the last line is so perfect, to keep the wiles of mysterious visions alit and live. Well done. Loretta



User avatar
tangerinepie
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 4459
Joined: April 18th, 2012, 10:42 pm
Location: The North Shore

Re: Midnight Wile

Post by tangerinepie » September 24th, 2014, 12:02 am

I liked the way you portrayed the underbelly of night life, so much going on we are never aware of, hints of mystery and evil perhaps.A very vivid and interesting spotlight choice.Well done..Tangie..


Image
Image

ladymaybebaby
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 5371
Joined: April 18th, 2012, 11:37 am
Location: dying in the heat and humidity that is New Orleans

Re: Midnight Wile

Post by ladymaybebaby » September 24th, 2014, 12:24 pm

Taking a page from EH's book, this indeed was haunting and beautiful! I love this side of you! You are such a versitile writer... you have this ability to make 'everything' work in your poetry. If it's humor, you nail it... if it's anger you nail that too! Congrats on the spotlight it is much deserved!

-LMB
xoxo


Image

Dew and I want you in our posse! Just PM us!


My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

User avatar
allmirth
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 4578
Joined: April 18th, 2012, 5:20 pm
Location: Cajun Country

Re: Midnight Wile

Post by allmirth » September 24th, 2014, 3:42 pm

I am most impressed with your minimalistic approach here. Though it is not your usual style, your skill does not surprise me.It does however delight me. Congratulations on the Spotlight. A haunting and indeed, beautiful write.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy :lovey:


Image

AoR
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts: 880
Joined: April 14th, 2012, 3:16 pm
Location: Locked in an Eternal Genjutsu

Re: Midnight Wile

Post by AoR » September 25th, 2014, 2:15 am

Thank you, everyone. I'm so used to writing epics out of everything. I guess instead of talking a lot, I like typing a lot. :laugh: ahahh... No? I was the only one that found that funny? Ok. Anyways, your words are very much appreciated and I say please enjoy these small pieces of mine because they sure are rare. It truly floored me to see this made Spotlight, as I wrote it on a whim, literally on a scrap of paper as I listened to my sister's dog rustling in the pile of leaves. I'm sure you know, I adore the sounds of nature,rustling leaves, murmuring brooks. And though night usually means sleep, under the cloak of darkness, the beauty of the wild pulses.

You guys are awesome and reading your comments have really brightened my mood, and today I really needed it. Thank you, all of you. :heart:


The one who isn't able to acknowledge his own self, will eventually fail.

everhopeful
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 6714
Joined: April 14th, 2012, 9:21 am

Re: Midnight Wile

Post by everhopeful » September 25th, 2014, 3:08 pm

Reading your reply comment actually managed to help me enjoy this poem even more - and I already enjoyed it muchly first time around! There's something very pure and poetic about taking inspiration and running with it on a whim, and it can turn out a gem like this! Although it's a different form obviously, there's something haiku-like about how you captured the moment here.
Congratulations on the spotlight!



potentialpoet
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts: 139
Joined: September 12th, 2014, 3:11 pm

Re: Midnight Wile

Post by potentialpoet » September 27th, 2014, 3:07 pm

I think about how animals live in the world and we live, or try to live, apart from it. I think about how in the not so distant past, we shared caves with short-faced bears, monsters as big as grizzlies. If you happen to be in there working on a painting, there's that to worry about.

These are the things I associate with this poem. There is a romantic connection to the natural world, not just all of nature, specifically the nocturnal variety, the more mysterious and elusive side of nature. There is even a hint of something sinister afoot.

What I'm noticing in my own work is when words flow together and how the sound of the words in relation to each other effect a mood or tone. An example of how this works to perfection in your poem can be found in the first line: "A quiet hum, a noiseless drum." At least for me, those words cast a magical mood over the rest of the poem.


Image

Post Reply