The Visit

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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Darkness
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The Visit

Post by Darkness » September 6th, 2014, 9:29 pm

The Visit


I walked along the garden path of shadow seeking day,
To visit with the aftermath of love given decay.
The flowers strewn along this walk, so stately in its course,
All dusted with a silky chalk I've known too well... remorse.

The fine powder, clinging to skin, softly adorned each finger;
As I found myself lost within a moment set to linger.
Unraveling as thoughts unpenned, ‘was then I saw her eyes.
The apparition only grinned in seeing my surprise.

The image of a hope long dead, a dream gone long afore.
I stood there, face to face with dread, then stood a moment more.
With the words swollen in my chest, while panic claimed my tongue,
I bled silence to the behest of sorrows never wrung.

The flower fell from my dry hand, as tears welled in eye,
As if misguided to a land where it would soon, too, die.
I watched the soundless moment fade, in isolated fear;
And vaguely let one thought invade: another wasted year!

The evidence proudly in place, the etching on the stone;
I surrendered to the embrace of one more night alone.
And watched by dawn the drifting hope of nightly shadows fled,
Knowing by the sanction of day that I too, must be dead.


Michael Anderson


But dreams—of those who dream as I,
Aspiringly, are damned, and die: 
~Poe~

things_i_wrote
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Re: The Visit

Post by things_i_wrote » September 6th, 2014, 11:09 pm

omg that is absolutelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy amazzing i'm speech less you got the enthusiastic touch over a poem

ANOTHER SPOT LIGHT DISCOVERY : :jester: :wizard:


i'm 70 TO 85 PERCENT SURE THAT THIS ONE WILL GET A SPOT LIGHT SOON

just amazing no more words
thanks for sharing

i just wish i could write like that

cheers..TIW


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Smile Laugh Then giggle :)

Life Doesn't deserve your Tears
Don't Hide From Your Fears
forget The Past , Live Now , Think Of tomorrow

amaranthus
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Re: The Visit

Post by amaranthus » September 7th, 2014, 12:23 am

Good lord that gave me chills. This is a gem that is a privilege to read. kudos!


Appearances change but the soul remains the same...Seana
Aka seana81 on the old forum.

dwells
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Re: The Visit

Post by dwells » September 7th, 2014, 6:29 am

Doesn't get any sadder than that Michael and your use of language lends a classic feel to this entire visit and visitation. Memorable lines of verse and some rhymes that were quite a surprise along the way too. A polished piece of pained ponderings and hoping this was written with a large dose of poetic license too. The silky chalk dust set an irresistible stage for what was to follow, cheers! - Dan


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Darkness
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Re: The Visit

Post by Darkness » September 13th, 2014, 2:43 pm

things¬ i wrote, I cherish your enthusiasm. It makes me want to continue writing.

amaranthus, “chills”… now that’s what I was shooting for. :smile:

dan, well, the visit was real enough, as was the setting… the visitation may have been a little embellished, though even without it I am sure I would have ended up at the same conclusion. Death holds that power over us.

Michael


But dreams—of those who dream as I,
Aspiringly, are damned, and die: 
~Poe~

P/N
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Re: The Visit

Post by P/N » September 13th, 2014, 4:04 pm

Absolutely incredible. Really had no idea the ending was coming like that.

Paul



OrodumKorda
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Re: The Visit

Post by OrodumKorda » September 13th, 2014, 8:15 pm

A piece that brings to mind the great poems of old. A piece to inspire the masses and intimidate us fellow poets, lol. This was nothing short of epic. I can't wait to see more from you Michael, well done!


May my pen and my verse ever inspire free men
To pursue their chosen destiny and never falter
In defending their right to live their life their way.

bupaje
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Re: The Visit

Post by bupaje » September 17th, 2014, 12:57 am

I enjoyed your use of language and the natural unforced rhythm and cadence of your wording.


Burt
------------
Recent: The Old Well, The Porch, little bird, Old Oak and We See the Crown

BarryC
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Re: The Visit

Post by BarryC » October 13th, 2014, 9:06 am

a magical piece of writing-well done



David Wayne
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Re: The Visit

Post by David Wayne » October 13th, 2014, 9:16 am

This is well penned, thought out and delivered.

David



JASON
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Re: The Visit

Post by JASON » October 13th, 2014, 9:31 am

now this is good writing! the internal rhyming so subtle -
only found whilst searching for it..
commendable work indeed!!



potentialpoet
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Re: The Visit

Post by potentialpoet » October 15th, 2014, 11:28 am

Great ending, great beginning, and everything in between! I didn't know where this was going, but it was a very satisfying conclusion, one that, at least for me, gave this a deeper meaning. I often think about dead people. Someone said that maybe we're already dead and just don't realize it. It would be fitting if what we think of as life is, in fact, death. Your poem inspired a whole reverie on that subject.

I also appreciate your use of rhyme and cadence in this poem.


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tangerinepie
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Re: The Visit

Post by tangerinepie » October 15th, 2014, 1:52 pm

A work of poetic art that sweeps the reader into a flourish of classic imagery.Each sentence has wording that inspires..Dramatic and compelling on every level..Magnifique..Great spotlight..Tangie..


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Josie
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Re: The Visit

Post by Josie » October 17th, 2014, 1:45 pm

Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight recognition. My favorite lines:
"The evidence ...,the etching on the stone;
I surrendered to the embrace of one more night alone.
And watched by dawn the drifting hope of nightly shadows fled,
Knowing by the sanction of day that I too, must be dead.


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A.k.ChaosDream
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Re: The Visit

Post by A.k.ChaosDream » October 30th, 2014, 12:22 pm

Wonderful write, the sadness in this is piercing and poisonous, spreading and taking hold fast.
Sublime flow except that last line but I like to think it was intended.
Grats on the well deserved spotlight.


where i post stuff/bio
I'm Chaos, Luv' -
hate me with my
Pain and throw me back
to sleep -


finally - the darkness lightened up a shade - after ages spreading it across my sanity[/center]

MikelFirewalker
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Re: The Visit

Post by MikelFirewalker » November 2nd, 2014, 1:27 pm

if poems were given ratings here, this gem would shine from the top of every list...everything about it is done beautifully...


michael



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