Storm in a Redwood Forest

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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Josie
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Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by Josie » July 28th, 2014, 5:48 pm

As flashes streak across the curtained sky
with raucous rumbles or a jarring cry,
Small creatures flee to higher ground’s retreat
to dodge downpour’s oblique and fervent beat.

The storm assaults and strikes where redwoods stand,
tears open creek beds, soaks and drenches land.
Tree branches, broken twigs with clumped debris
obstruct and flood the river’s boundary.

The rain abates and leaves a drooping scene.
Steam puffs and plumes the labyrinth of green.
The presence of light peers and peeks through gray;
unveils its face while bringing warmth to day.

Sprinkles fizzle when this solar shared fire
bedecks the wooded world in bright attire.
Attending spiders scurry and begin
with lustrous threads for maze draped webs to spin.

Flickers of light bejewel the mossy logs
that crisscross rivers bulged with stony clogs.
The rays tiptoe through cold and puddled ground,
then plaster warmth on boulders strewn around.

Inviting aisles of flecks lead to the sun
with upward slants appearing airy spun.
One monarch rests beneath a redwood’s shade,
with stretched dry wings, it flutters from the glade.

The chirping larks and whistling birds of prey
pronounce the end of rain that blows away.
The leaf fronds bow and sway touched by the breeze
that swept the storm beyond the redwood trees.


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Rainman
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by Rainman » July 28th, 2014, 6:33 pm

I liked everything about this poem, the subject matter, the attention to detail, the iambic pentameters, the diction and the clarity of the descriptions.
Well done indeed, a really good piece!



karrie
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by karrie » July 28th, 2014, 10:23 pm

This is such a wonderful write! The images were so vivid to me. Much enjoyed reading this!



domvanday
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by domvanday » July 29th, 2014, 3:14 pm

I don't know what it is with nature poems tonight but this, like the one previous by LWA, is wonderful to read aloud. The sonics of it bring it to life, the colour becomes more vibrant and the words somehow more descriptive. Much enjoyed.



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Josie
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by Josie » July 30th, 2014, 9:19 am

Rainman: One of the places that I call home is the Redwood Forest in northern California. Your words meant a lot to me.

Karrie: Thank you for stopping to read and sharing your kind words. It is one of those poems that I keep returning to, to tweak, and feel refreshed by old memories.

domvanday:You are right. I had the same reaction because this realm of poetry had poems that were very insightful and well written. I almost backed out of posting, but it is like learning to swim; you have to get in the water. Thank you for reading and commenting.


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CarolynKleefeld
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by CarolynKleefeld » July 30th, 2014, 4:22 pm

Living in a rainy redwood forest myself, I especially loved this beautifully composed poem. Exquisite use of language and imagery, and a wonderful attention to detail, so skillfully expressed. An absolute delight!



JASON
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by JASON » July 31st, 2014, 3:27 am

The nature board is firing today - this was spectacular!!!
you have captured the sights and the sounds of the forest
in perfect detail,and poetically expressed how nature swiftly
recovers after the storm...



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Josie
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by Josie » August 1st, 2014, 11:09 am

Carolynkleefeld: Thank you for taking time to read and comment on 'Storm in a Redwood Forest. You and I have been blessed to experience the treasures of the rainy forest. The sight, sounds, and smells are so vivid.

Jason: Your words are greatly appreciated. It is like you said, 'The nature board is firing today' and in Carolyn's words, "...expressing...an ever-evolving symphony of creation."


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karrie
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by karrie » August 3rd, 2014, 8:27 am

I am so delighted that this made the Spotlight! Congratulations! A truly wonderful write!



ladymaybebaby
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by ladymaybebaby » August 3rd, 2014, 4:49 pm

Your rhymes are strikingly beautiful in this piece... I cannot for the life of me write a decent nature poem, thank you for showing me how it's done! Perfection here! Congratulations on the spotlight pick of the week, it is much deserved!

-LMB
xoxo


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Dew and I want you in our posse! Just PM us!


My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

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tangerinepie
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by tangerinepie » August 3rd, 2014, 7:21 pm

Totally enjoyable in every way, combines the elements of beautiful detailing with the wondrous elements of the natural world.I am consumed with pastoral settings and nature poetry, and this has everything one could wish for.An elegant write, and well deserved spotlight selection..TY..Tangie..


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LorettaYoung
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by LorettaYoung » August 3rd, 2014, 9:10 pm

Congratulations; this poem is total inspiration; every word just sings with meaning and movement; your attention to detail poetically is magnificent. Loved reading this and thanks for sharing. I've been in the redwoods; you make them come back to life for me after many years. Beautiful. Loretta



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jsol
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by jsol » August 3rd, 2014, 11:50 pm

Wow, I am really impressed at your attention to detail in the writing of this poem. Every syllable has it's place and yet each comes across as unforced and easy. The descriptions are vibrant, rich and move in the unpredictable way that a stream breaks around rocks or a breeze twists among branches, can it be any more, well, natural? ;)



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Josie
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by Josie » August 4th, 2014, 11:49 am

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Karrie: Thank you for your revisit and kind words.

Ladymaybebaby: Your visit means a lot. Thank you!

Tangerinepie: I never expected my poem would be here, but it is a nice blessing.

Lorettayoung: Your feedback is treasured. A solitary hike through the redwoods or the memory alone, always helps me keep things in perspective. I cannot imagine the world without them.

jsol: Thank you for such powerful inspiring words!


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nortan223
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by nortan223 » August 9th, 2014, 9:12 am

The images that you created in this poem were remarkable. You conjured up the whole gamut of the changes of mood with your subtle use of language and had the added bonus of rhyming ,which, to me, is an "essential" of poetry. (I'm one of the " dinosaurs" of the old school).
Congratulations on the Spotlight - it was well deserved.

Norman


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everhopeful
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by everhopeful » August 9th, 2014, 3:08 pm

I have a soft spot for well metered poetry like this, especially when there are enough well used substitutions to give the verse a few breaks in the Iambs. Then when you factor in the spectacular imagery and sense of movement it captures throughout, turning the poem into something very three-dimensional and rich with activity as well as description, it becomes as easy on the eye as on the tongue.
A wonderful read, congratulations on the spotlight!



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Josie
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by Josie » August 12th, 2014, 5:09 pm

Norton223: Thank you for taking time to read and respond to "Storm in a Redwood Forest. ' I am always happy to hear there are others who enjoy poems that rhyme. Your uplifting words are appreciated.

Everhopeful: I really worried about substitutions, so I am glad you mentioned it. You are an inspiration to all of us for your positive and motivating comments. Thank you!


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dwells
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by dwells » September 19th, 2014, 2:02 am

Josie - Thankyou for my first journey through the Sequoias. Nothing better than a good thunderstorm while safe in bed, but I've had a few close calls while golfing. You paint with a perfect palette here and I'm just now returning reluctantly. Something primordial and soothing in this delicious depiction. Cheers and congratulations on the HoF; you're a natural!


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Josie
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by Josie » September 23rd, 2014, 12:50 pm

Dwells,
I just want to thank you for your kind words. I read John Muir's ' Wind Storm in the Forest' for the first time. I am so glad to have come across it.


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Josie
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Re: Storm in a Redwood Forest

Post by Josie » November 20th, 2014, 1:43 am

Thank you for your much appreciated input. Let me know when you decide to visit the Redwoods with your camera. I am still in awe of your birds, flowers and insect portfolios!
Josie


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