The Town of Westwood [updated with bonus content]

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devious83
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The Town of Westwood [updated with bonus content]

Post by devious83 » January 29th, 2014, 3:51 am

'The Town of Westwood'

(true story)

When I first moved to this town, I drove off a cliff, flipped a few times, and landed wedged between two trees.

My last words were, "Oh my God! This is it!" and I closed my eyes and surrendered.
The airbag failed to deploy.

----------
blackout
----------

I opened my eyes, and looked around, I was still in the vehicle in the trees. I had to kick the door open to get out. After climbing carefully out of the vehicle and up the cliffside back to the road, I realized something. I have not a single scratch or scar or cut or bruise of any sort on me.

The town I moved to, over half the houses are empty. Everything is trashed, ninety percent of the cars have dents all over them. Nothing here is in mint condition. The number one dog breed is pitbulls.

Every time I shake someones hand, I almost always get the remark "Dang your hands are cold."

Yesterday I got bit by a pitbull, it punctured my skin. I did not bleed. My wound feels fake.

Today I was out at midnight walking my dog. I let him off the leash, and I was dragging the leash behind me. It is a chain leash. It felt natural.

Am I dead or am I live? I do not know but my memory is failing me. My past is a haze, a cloudy blur of barely discernible events and imagery.

All my neighbors and friends here, every single one of them, has had a 'near death experience'. I am going to go out on a limb and say it was not near death. It was real death.

This is my town, this is Westwood. Welcome to the waiting room of the afterlife.

-Jason-

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Bonus!!!

A view from my porch.

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My neighbor Todd.

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Last edited by devious83 on July 4th, 2014, 12:42 am, edited 3 times in total.


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AnIdeasman
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Re: The Town of Westwood

Post by AnIdeasman » February 9th, 2014, 11:17 pm

What an interesting introduction! There's a strong sense of mystery and uncertainty, I'm eager to see what direction this story goes in. This was a pleasure to read. I'm eager for the next chapter.



ToddW
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Re: The Town of Westwood

Post by ToddW » February 12th, 2014, 12:07 pm

I agree, interesting intro. I would like to know what part of it is true and waiting for more. good writing, keep it coming.

Todd


“The only obstacle in the way of diving deep into your own soul is the buoyancy of fear for what you will find”
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My will is stronger than my fear, so I may fail small I will succeed in the end.
T.A. Wakefield
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Re: The Town of Westwood

Post by Pleiadic » February 15th, 2014, 12:54 pm

Wow...I've never read such a short story, written so simply yet so full of worlds. Frightening. Thoughtful. Dreamlike. You have quite a talent to tell a whole story with so few words. I actually know someone whose story started off that way. He was stuck in between trees for hours with one dead friend and another whose leg was broken. He saw a Dark Angel come for him but he wouldn't go with it. He's never been the same...in a sense he is alive but dead. Made me think of him. Thanks!


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Re: The Town of Westwood

Post by Zimmerman » February 20th, 2014, 10:00 am

You've done something remarkable here and I applaud you for it



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Re: The Town of Westwood

Post by Ben. » March 10th, 2014, 2:07 am

What a beautifully unique way to view a living death. It feels like a twilight of the soul.
Brilliant!


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devious83
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Re: The Town of Westwood

Post by devious83 » March 10th, 2014, 2:47 am

Wow thanks for all the amazing replies everyone, I feel all good for writing this now. ToddW, it's all true every last bit of it. This is my real life in Westwood.


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Larsen M. Callirhoe
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Re: The Town of Westwood

Post by Larsen M. Callirhoe » June 30th, 2014, 5:42 pm

This reminded me of one of the two or three flashbacks I had of my first of around two dozen near death experiences I have gone through myself personally that is jarring and very bone-riveting to say the least. Congrats on the spotlight. This piece certainly deserves this accolade and if only some would recognize the powers that be that allowed this harrowing type experience the way I perceive your words tho I could be biased albeit I think to you in your own esteemed view it was a very worthwhile experience to grow mentally into an upstanding human-being having went through these real events An excellent writing in my opinion.. Thank you for sharing...

Enjoyed....

victor


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Larsen M. Callirhoe~


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LorettaYoung
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Re: The Town of Westwood

Post by LorettaYoung » July 1st, 2014, 7:11 pm

Jason: a delight to read, flows in a melancholy way; the feel of death so well portrayed. Loved it. Loretta



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tangerinepie
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Re: The Town of Westwood

Post by tangerinepie » July 2nd, 2014, 6:31 pm

An enchanting and interesting story that many people can relate to, including myself.However, when I walked back into life I could not find the words to thank the one who saved me.This place you live in has some very remarkable features..This is an exceptional write, and a very special spotlight choice..Tangie..


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Re: The Town of Westwood

Post by everhopeful » July 3rd, 2014, 4:14 pm

While I share similar sentiments to those who think this warrants more chapters, there's actually something about it which works incredibly well as an ultra-short story - I think it's the slightly mysterious element, and the abrupt style only enhances that. The idea of being stuck in limbo is quite threatening, and even though the descriptions of Westwood play on the slightly skewed normality of the place, it still holds a slightly other-worldly feel.
Nice job on this, and congratulations on the spotlight.



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Re: The Town of Westwood

Post by dwells » July 3rd, 2014, 6:44 pm

Jason - perfect piece to impart that spooky OoEee feel and you carried the story along expertly; with just the right touch of foreboding and suspense to keep the reader hooked. I think this might actually be the town of Deadwood, where the stagecoach used to stop on its hellish run across the burning sands. Cheers and congrats on the spotlight!


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devious83
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Re: The Town of Westwood

Post by devious83 » July 3rd, 2014, 7:16 pm

Dude... c'mon... I actually live here :) you can actually visit this place


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allmirth
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Re: The Town of Westwood [updated with bonus content]

Post by allmirth » July 5th, 2014, 12:52 pm

Spooky, ethereal and wonderfully drawn. There is potential for expansion as has been said, but, it has enough power to stand alone, as evidenced by the well deserved spotlight. Congratulations.

Thanks much for sharing.
Mirthy :lovey:


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devious83
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Re: The Town of Westwood [updated with bonus content]

Post by devious83 » July 6th, 2014, 2:05 am

I hope people wanting me to make part 2 know that this is a true story and is the town I live in and cannot plan poetic moments :)


But no worries though, I got plenty of stock from Westwood, a sequel will come.


Presenting: The 'Animated Poetry' Gospel For your enjoyment.

aoeclald
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Re: The Town of Westwood [updated with bonus content]

Post by aoeclald » July 6th, 2014, 11:41 pm

I like the length, the language. I don't know I will read a sequel unless prodded. It reminds me of a Twilight Zone episode and that is what makes it beautiful. It is so surreal. The fact that it is a real place I think gives it that sense of realism, but the way it is written - your eloquence as a writer - gives it that teetering-on-the-edge of realism feel.

Really great share, I loved it. A rather inspiring story, really. I imagine this is fertile grounds for modern television shows and could be really rich for a novella or something. Westwood itself is such a ... surreal name.

Luke



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