The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
Post Reply
Eggy
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts: 61
Joined: September 6th, 2013, 5:12 am

The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by Eggy » September 19th, 2013, 6:27 am

The sonnet form is amazingly adaptable and vastly underrated. This one is devoid of both Kangaroos and ANY serious intent but it IS an absolutely standard sonnet.

Just for fun.

Ad Victoriam


She stands alone to face the bestial horde,
Her riven armour blackened, dented, torn
And lifts aloft her reddened, dripping sword
To slay or suffer death, her vengeance sworn.
Before her lie the bodies of her slain
'Midst smoking ruins where her village stood
She claims wergild for death, this Demon's bane
A debt that they must pay - and pay in blood!
What curse has wrought this change in nature sweet
This tender loving hand now turned to war?
Twas but a simple trinket, children's treat
Thoughtless garnered from that evil store.
My gentle little wife is not the same
Since she began to play that PC game!



DomingoCarl
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts: 297
Joined: May 28th, 2012, 8:05 am
Location: Yisria, the mythological land

Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by DomingoCarl » September 19th, 2013, 7:20 am

Jajaj! Quite witty that last line is! Indeed, this Sonnet form is one of the forms I quickly learned, adaptable and rhythm and rhyme friendly. Methinks also that the body suggest the game (which I could guess as... Diablo or something of the sort) and the ending couplet describing her playing it. Written in a language easily understandable, I conclude my compliments.


Image

Thrice is the fold of speech
For every piece ye preach,
Or whether twice again
In giving ye shall gain.


...And also in looking into my works.

The Blacksmith's Work

Rainman
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts: 870
Joined: July 31st, 2013, 9:12 am

Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by Rainman » September 19th, 2013, 7:32 am

Good fun! I liked the mock-heroic style and then the twist in the tail at the end, I do like a bit of iambic pentameter, it always reads so well. I don't play any computer games except chess, there is a sweet taste of victory in beating the program in that game for sure.



Dew
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 7403
Joined: April 24th, 2012, 9:08 pm
Location: The Emerald Coast
Contact:

Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by Dew » September 19th, 2013, 8:01 am

Hell yeah! That was awesome! Two thumbs!!! Loved the wry wit at the end...made it a true gem. Form was lovely and not a distraction at all! Great work! - dew



User avatar
songofmeadow
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 2132
Joined: April 14th, 2012, 3:20 pm
Location: the bright side

Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by songofmeadow » September 19th, 2013, 12:59 pm

Hello :) You stay true to Shakespeare but bring something fresh and fun to the form. The language is particularly powerful when contrasted with the punch line and I discover a new word! mx


Remember, 3 replies for every poem you post!!


Latest...

User avatar
songofmeadow
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 2132
Joined: April 14th, 2012, 3:20 pm
Location: the bright side

Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by songofmeadow » September 30th, 2013, 1:33 am

Tis lovely to see your sonnet spotlighted here, easy spotlight in my mind mx


Remember, 3 replies for every poem you post!!


Latest...

Dew
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 7403
Joined: April 24th, 2012, 9:08 pm
Location: The Emerald Coast
Contact:

Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by Dew » September 30th, 2013, 7:45 am

Congrats on the well deserved spotlight! So happy to find you again! Still a great read! - dew



Zojourn
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts: 343
Joined: June 13th, 2013, 8:35 pm
Location: Great Northwest

Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by Zojourn » September 30th, 2013, 2:32 pm

This is a wonderfully picturesque (w)rite! Your word choice and structure pulls the reader in and ignites the spirit, immediately creating an alignment of yourself and the noble Heroine-Warrior. I love the twist and the imagery the speaker conveyed and must have envisioned with the unveiling revelation of the last six lines, along with the realization and acceptance of the delicate balance of innocence and it's new found perception.

Truly enjoyable read!

~Z


"People laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at them because they're all the same." ~Curt Cobain
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who i am not." ~Curt Cobain
Zojourn's SojournImage

dornicks
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 3344
Joined: April 19th, 2012, 5:28 pm

Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by dornicks » September 30th, 2013, 3:34 pm

The opening and subsequent lines had me going-the ending,though not disappointing,gave me a laugh. Thank you for both and congratulations on the spotlight,

dornicks


Image

rupertpupkin
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3342
Joined: April 19th, 2012, 10:03 am

Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by rupertpupkin » October 1st, 2013, 3:47 pm

Hi, last line's a killer and the rest of the poem is excellent too, well done on the spotlight, Sean.


ImageImage

inflames
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 1163
Joined: April 14th, 2012, 2:23 am

Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by inflames » October 2nd, 2013, 12:10 pm

HAha. I love the final line! This is very quirky and cool. I enjoyed this a lot. Well done and congrats on your spotlight!


"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje


Image

User avatar
allmirth
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 4578
Joined: April 18th, 2012, 5:20 pm
Location: Cajun Country

Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by allmirth » October 2nd, 2013, 10:38 pm

Wonderfully structured. Original, clever and just hilarious! So mirthful to find this in the Spotlight.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy :lovey:


Image

flux
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 2427
Joined: April 15th, 2012, 12:04 pm
Location: North Wales coast.

Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by flux » October 3rd, 2013, 9:52 am

I am not a great fan of sonnets ( I struggle with them ) but this was so well written and such a fun read I loved it. Maybe, I'm slow but I didn't see that twist coming at the end so it was a surprise when this turned from a fantasy poem to a comic poem. Well written and a deserved spotlight. I wish I could write sonnets like this.


Make fellow poets happy and comment on their poems.



ImageImageImageImage

karrie
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts: 3627
Joined: April 17th, 2012, 12:21 am
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas

Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by karrie » October 3rd, 2013, 9:15 pm

Such an enjoyable read that made me smile! Congrats on the well deserved spotlight!



Post Reply