The lie that killed me

[scottguy]

A Monster came in costume
As a woman at the door
I let her in not knowing
The tragedy in store

Sweetly whispered lies
Clever hidden truths
Webs of deceit were littering
The corners of my room

Slowly the woman ebbed
And the monster reared it's head
Blissfully I watched my world unravel
Denial in my head

Then came the harsh reality
A painful sudden stop
The thread by which I'd been holding on
Ended in a gallows knot

My choices laid before me
The monster screamed in rage
Pretty lies covered empty eyes
To put me in a cage

A knight in tarnished armor
His visor worn down low
Defended me and slayed the beast
His own life he laid low

Before his final breath had passed
I asked the knight his name
He removed his helm, to my surprise
our faces were the same

I finally understand
Just why I had to die
The woman was never the monster at all
The monster lived inside

[ladymaybebaby]

Wow, totally super cool work on this piece! I did not see that end coming... This piece was such a wonderful read. It engaged me as the reader, it was smooth, and you tell one hell of a great story and make it poetry at such a high level. Very impressive and so well done! Thanks for sharing your work with us!

-LMB
xoxo

[musie]

This was just simply perfection, in the tale telling, the formatting and rhythm and rhyme were spot on as is the Title...and the Twist ending truly astounding for the reader...This exceptionally written piece had me caught up in it from the beginning and each stanza brought a little more nuance of wonderment, what's going to happen next kind of feel...And excellent piece of tragedy writing IMHO...Musie

[blueinferno07]

How wonderfully creative! Rhythm and flow added nicely to this and kept my mind enraptured with your story as it came closer and closer to (as others have said) that awesome, awesome ending. If this piece is any indication, I'd say you certainly have a knack for grabbing your readers attention, cause once I started this piece not a bit of me wanted to stop. Excellent write!

[allmirth]

The unexpected twist at the end, raises this piece to a different level all together, leading the reader to ponder profound questions. Nicely penned.

Thanks for sharing.
Mirthy

[scottguy]

Thank you for those kind words! I really do appreciate it very much. I wasn't sure if I was going to post it to begin with, there tends to be such a high caliber of work on here that I wasn't sure if it would live up to the standards set by other users/poets. I hope to continue to produce quality works for your enjoyment. :)

[bandgeekfreak]

This is a really effective way to write a poem, I love the plot twist at the end. Great poem, it was a nail biter, hooked me and kept me excited through the whole piece.

[scottguy]

Thanks again! I am really suprised by the reviews I have received. Your are too kind.

[ciceromantic]

A very narrative poem that was not trite with basic rhyme. Thank you!

[maggiebar3]

this had my heart beating hard and fast, and wanting to devour the unread..

[NLCE]

I couldn't stop reading it
And the ending just blew me away
I want to read it again
Thx for sharing this

NLCE

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

This is very impressive write especially how you sock it to the reader at the end. don't fret about the quality of poetry on this site. just be the best you can be. not everything works for the reader no matter what you write. About 13 years ago I started writing poetry and posting some cheesy work on defunct poetry sites, but I have stuck it out. really enjoyed. thank you for sharing.

victor

[Oread]

Wow, this was amazing good job

[Notapoet]

Awesome write, loved the ending! A real pleasure to read, thanks for sharing...

[sparky21737]

Wow this was amazing. The rhyme, the theme and the twist at the end. Couldn't stop reading it. Thanks for sharing

[Oread]

Wow beautiful imagery - a story inside a poem.

[PCShogun]

Well done plot and story line. The ending was superb.

[Paralee]

I loved it! Talk about inner reflection and outcome, this was incredible. Form was great, and you created an interesting plot right off that kept the eyes going forward on the words. I've had a dream or two like that in a way, good work. Paralee

[BloodyTears]

I can't really say anything the other's haven't said, but beautiful, captivating. Loved it.

[search81]

Wow great poem! Intersting that the most is one's self and one's self is a lie.