An Unpleasant Reality

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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Lydan Calivere
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Joined: November 27th, 2012, 1:03 pm

An Unpleasant Reality

Post by Lydan Calivere » February 20th, 2013, 12:33 pm

Promises made and forgotten
Hearts cut out and mutilated
Minds shattered like glass
Homes torn apart by madness
Bodies beaten and bruised
Secrets unkept by lying tongues
Forgiveness and honor thrown aside
Chivalry murdered by violent men
Truth crushed in the hands of evil
Seven days and seven weeks
Seven glass angels fallen
Three months or three years
Three stone demons rise
In a world of abandoned dreams
And compromised values
Only one word hangs on my lips,
BROKEN.


"The poet's heart,
When in joy or sorrow,
When Bitter or at peace,
Always tells the truth"

Tufty
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Re: An Unpleasant Reality

Post by Tufty » February 21st, 2013, 10:33 am

Hi. This had a feeling of utter desolation even before I came to that crushing, upper-cased ending. The individual lines at the start of the piece certainly give a foundation, a linkage to the finale, as if those that were trusted or even loved, let the speaker down in ways that are unforgivable. There is a sense of paranoia to it, yet the imagery in the centre of the piece shakes this away to the harshness of reality. The centring suggests this is a very personal piece, at the core of today's existence. A beautiful, yet heart-wrenching OM.

Dave



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Jahaliel
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Re: An Unpleasant Reality

Post by Jahaliel » February 22nd, 2013, 8:11 am

This, this was truth at its harshest and purest like a blade so sharp even though it brings pain it is also beautiful. I love it, it speaks to me and how I feel these days so often. Thankyou for sharing this with us.


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I loved you then, I love you still though we are shadows of our former glory
Though they try to kill us off, we are a never-ending story


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shadowedeyes
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Location: Basingstoke, England
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Re: An Unpleasant Reality

Post by shadowedeyes » February 22nd, 2013, 4:53 pm

A very well constructed, well articulated poem. So often I read 'anger' or 'emptiness' poems full of angst and cliche'd teeny crap but this was.... well done. I didnt shudder nor did I feel an overwhelming sense of the writer demanding sympathy from their reader.

No, this was raw and just slammed itself on the table regardless of what we who read it thought. I like that.

S|E


"If I do not write to empty my mind, I go mad" - Lord Byron

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Lydan Calivere
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Re: An Unpleasant Reality

Post by Lydan Calivere » February 22nd, 2013, 7:48 pm

I've often said that the truth is harsh and painful and anyone who doesn't like it can deal with it, I tell the truth no matter how painful, its just who I am. Thank you all for your time I truly appreciate it.


"The poet's heart,
When in joy or sorrow,
When Bitter or at peace,
Always tells the truth"

MBW
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Joined: April 17th, 2012, 11:10 pm

Re: An Unpleasant Reality

Post by MBW » July 14th, 2019, 11:42 pm

I felt the form of the poem really matched the sharpness of emotion of the experience described in the poem. Each lined felt as if it just piled down on me after the previous, sort of like how I imagine each experience described in each line I imagined would have felt. It gives this poem a depth of feeling, with the angst and trauma really showing through. I can see, and most importantly, feel where some of that brokenness stems from because of the successive piling on of the experiences and feelings in each line building up to the end. I love it.


"Black water streams and splatters white stones."

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rupertpupkin
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Re: An Unpleasant Reality

Post by rupertpupkin » August 17th, 2021, 3:33 am

Wonderfully tragic write and most deserving of a spotlight. Well done with this.


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AgentofChaos
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Location: Cape Town

Re: An Unpleasant Reality

Post by AgentofChaos » December 15th, 2021, 12:40 pm

the foundation of all these pounded into you as the fundamentals of life / living / being, the reality laid bare, stark, piercing, shattering, leaves us broken.


Gingerly, I write

Agent of Chaos - Prose'd

Be a law unto yourself
Be a society unto yourself
Be a religion unto yourself
Be unto yourself; Yourself!

eploscik
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Re: An Unpleasant Reality

Post by eploscik » January 20th, 2022, 10:42 am

The poem was unrelenting. The anger was real and terrifying. There's a whole lot of evil out there and there are some that no matter the pain refuse to let the b------- crush their spirit. Thank you.



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