A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

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CrypticCricker
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A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by CrypticCricker » January 5th, 2013, 3:15 pm

Here it is...

a blow by blow account
of what passes for
peace and domestic
tranquility.
The heart attack
waiting to happen
numbly sits,
glassy-eyed,
looking at, but not
reading the
morning fishwrapper;
mindlessly downing a
hot and tasteless cuppa joe,
oblivious to her shuffling gait
as she waddles back from
the kitchen sink
scratching her more than
ample rump, finally
endangering the health and
safety of the chair,
plopping down her cast-aside
dreams--
enshrouded in a casing
of rumpled robe and
tousled hair and cellulitis.

Muffled greetings that
mean nothing.
a sigh...
a ruffled page
shaken in dutiful acknowledgement.
finally,
mercifully,
perfunctory pecks on
care-worn cheeks
that once knew
sunny days of ardor...
then, the tightening of the noose
of domesticity and
corporate compliance;
out the door to greet
another workaday onslaught
and inevitable death
of joy--of dreams.

Sacrificial offerings
on the altar of suburbia.

There--you have it.

I have loved the writings of Charles Bukowski--one irascible sunovabitch. He got to see so much of the world, and I have been rather sheltered in so many things. However, I do remember meeting a friend of a friend...Their lives were captivating horror, as encapsulated in this work.
Last edited by CrypticCricker on February 11th, 2013, 11:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.


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ladymaybebaby
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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by ladymaybebaby » January 5th, 2013, 4:49 pm

Whoa, I love this piece! Your diction was perfect, slightly cheeky, which to me in itself was a delighful metaphor for stagnant suburbia! The same old routine played out over and over until only ghosts of the former selves are left. You weave a great story into a strong narrative here. Great work, what a gem here!

-LMB
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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by SwingingPistol » January 5th, 2013, 10:28 pm

Hi,
this was really a beautifully tragic poem, to be honest. I loved the title, and I loved the tale just as much. A perfect Angst piece.. thanks for sharing.

SP



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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by peterandrewday » January 8th, 2013, 8:18 am

A poem which pulls no punches, confronts realities without sentimentality and expresses a dour compassion for its characters. Language and lay-out fit and fulfill your intention perfectly.


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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by flux » January 11th, 2013, 9:57 am

This poem deserves close attention, the slightly humorous title and the subdued tone of the poem are deceptive, in a good way, they hide the tragic waste of these lives, the slow death of these spirits, so the horror of the situation creeps up on the reader.


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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by rayjones » January 11th, 2013, 11:51 am

really good descriptions clear imagery that puts the reader in the scene then makes him squirm, dour perfectly drwan snapshot of most people lives, geat work Ray



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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by JASON » January 11th, 2013, 3:06 pm

brilliant work - thank you.



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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by opsacarlson » January 13th, 2013, 1:51 am

A wonderful poem. Hope i don't go out like that :/


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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by Rassy48 » January 16th, 2013, 2:21 pm

CC,
I don't know what more I can add that has not been said already. Absolutely wonderful creation! Here we are. All the little mice on our treadmills. Everyday. Round and round it goes. The imagery and word usage puts me in the kitchen of an old, not-so-kept-up house in the mornig and I am watching this creation unfold first hand. I join my other TPS friends and say "Great work!". Worthy of a bookmark for my reading pleasure whenever I want to re-read. Thanks for sharing.
Joanne


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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by peterandrewday » January 27th, 2013, 6:49 am

Having previously posted a reply to this, I can only add my congratulations for getting this well-merited spotlight.


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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by ladylilith » January 27th, 2013, 7:10 am

I must have missed this the first time around.. What a shame! But I'm glad I got to read it here. And it definitely deserves its time to shine in the Spotlight. A really well formed piece, I think flux hit the nail on the head with this, the wording is so cleverly devised. Really great work and congrats on the Spotlight!

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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by ladymaybebaby » January 27th, 2013, 7:56 am

I was lucky to have read and replied to this the first time, it is a stand out piece! So I'll just add to my earlier reply a hearty congratulations for the spotlight choice, it is well deserved!


-LMB
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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by flux » January 27th, 2013, 9:26 am

Good to see this spotlighted, well done.


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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by Whiskurz » January 27th, 2013, 9:38 am

Very spotlight worthy.....Congrats my friend.....Whisk



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Rassy48
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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by Rassy48 » January 27th, 2013, 9:50 am

Rassy48 wrote:CC,
I don't know what more I can add that has not been said already. Absolutely wonderful creation! Here we are. All the little mice on our treadmills. Everyday. Round and round it goes. The imagery and word usage puts me in the kitchen of an old, not-so-kept-up house in the morning and I am watching this creation unfold first hand. I join my other TPS friends and say "Great work!". Worthy of a bookmark for my reading pleasure whenever I want to re-read. Thanks for sharing.
Joanne

CC,
As you can see, I comments on this previously when it first was posted (1/16/13). So glad to see this made it to where it belongs! Right in the "Spotlight!!! I shall repeat myself (sort of) and say this is one of the neatest writes I have read on TPS.Congrats, my friend.
Joanne


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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by tangerinepie » January 27th, 2013, 10:13 am

Potent poem, a well constructed peak into places we would like to avoid.LOL. It is definitely a choice highlight write with tons of imagery to make it stand out..Tangie..


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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by musie » January 29th, 2013, 7:30 am

WoW! EXALT! There is no doubt that this is most deserving of the Spotlight...it quite thoroughly knock's the breath out of the reader with it's exceptional and detailed imagery that's just flat out scary and tragic as well....A great piece of work....one, not to be missed.....Musie


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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by Afishamongmany » January 29th, 2013, 4:41 pm

A picture deftly sketched. Not pretty, not happy but no doubt true of the lives of some.
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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by everhopeful » January 30th, 2013, 9:03 am

There's something deliciously invasive of this poem, which makes me feel like a bit of a voyeur for reading it (in the nicest way possible). Although I haven't read a lot of his work, I appreciated the significance of the title, however it still didn't fully prepare me for this gritty, insightful and delightfully vulgar descriptive poem.
Congratulations on the spotlight.



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Re: A Toast to the Ghost of Charles Bukowski

Post by danielraythomason » January 30th, 2013, 4:40 pm

This would make Bukowski grin...devilishly.

I enjoyed.


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