Pain and fear

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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godsplat
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Pain and fear

Post by godsplat » November 19th, 2012, 6:45 am

Although I see light
Pain and fear holds me tightly
Deep within the dark


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Dew
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Re: Pain and fear

Post by Dew » November 19th, 2012, 5:56 pm

Felt like being held against my will...with the hand of darkness over my mouth so no one could hear my cries for help...great work...Dew



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astroannie
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Re: Pain and fear

Post by astroannie » November 20th, 2012, 12:25 am

this is so plaintive. It's like the raccoon trap (or monkey trap or other critter depending on your locale). The hole is big enough to put the empty hand through, but not big enough to bring the food out.


If at first you don't succeed, try second, third, or shortstop.

queenjellybean
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Re: Pain and fear

Post by queenjellybean » November 28th, 2012, 5:26 pm

This poem can apply to so many things. It resonated deep and was simple but complex. Fabulous work.



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songofmeadow
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Re: Pain and fear

Post by songofmeadow » December 3rd, 2012, 5:42 am

How one reads this, especially L2 can be altered and read into as the reader wishes, there lies its success - well done g'splat! meadow


Remember, 3 replies for every poem you post!!


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ladymaybebaby
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Re: Pain and fear

Post by ladymaybebaby » December 3rd, 2012, 8:36 am

I think this is my biography! So well done, I love it!!! Congratulations a well deserved spotlight choice!

-R
xoxo


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Dew and I want you in our posse! Just PM us!


My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

Sasha
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Re: Pain and fear

Post by Sasha » December 4th, 2012, 8:22 am

Profound 'ku! It's like holding into the light, and overpowered by pain and fear in its absence.
So well worded! Congrats on the spotlight!

Sash



musie
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Re: Pain and fear

Post by musie » December 5th, 2012, 7:00 am

I have to agree with what both songofmeadow and Sasha have said about this piece Godsplat....I can see why it made the Spotlight...CONGRATULATIONS my friend....Musie


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oortcloudtwo
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Re: Pain and fear

Post by oortcloudtwo » December 5th, 2012, 11:40 pm

It is deceptively simple; no grand language or gimmicky rhyme scheme (I didn't even notice\ that it was a haiku until reading the comments) but an honest musing of both personal and universally-applied anxiety. That inner void we all feel from time to time. A splendid write and well worth the spotlight. Congrats.


You bring something irreplaceable to each and every day.
Or you used to anyway.
But this world couldn't hold you
And you slipped free
Yeah this world couldn't hold you
And you slipped free
Without me.


--RIP Jamie "ApocalypticJay" Mason

Whiskurz
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Re: Pain and fear

Post by Whiskurz » December 6th, 2012, 5:20 pm

This is something I too have felt.......Bravo my friend......and Congrats on the spotlight........Whisk



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Josie
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Re: Pain and fear

Post by Josie » December 7th, 2012, 1:17 am

The second line opens up a lot of possibilities. What is the source of light? If you were living alone and suddenly saw a light, it would be scary. You would not want to make any noise or draw attentions to yourself. There are so many scenarios, but that was my first reaction. Cheers on your spotlight recognition.


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everhopeful
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Re: Pain and fear

Post by everhopeful » December 7th, 2012, 1:46 pm

A very heavy tone to this one, mainly derived from the contrast between what is seen and what is felt, makes for an impactful piece of poetry. I'm no expert on the nuances of the form, I do appreciate well crafted minimalist verse like this.
Congratulations on the spotlight.



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Jovel320
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Re: Pain and fear

Post by Jovel320 » November 27th, 2014, 9:57 am

This gave me the same sensation as the walking in quicksand nightmare. Well done~~!
Jovel



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