Are We There Yet?©

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Rassy48
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Are We There Yet?©

Post by Rassy48 » September 11th, 2012, 6:11 pm

Take up the blacktop,
Put back that dirt road
Leading down to the bridge
With the restricted weight load.

Bring back the trees
That shaded the lane,
‘Long side those tracks
Where once ran a train.

Plant back the grasses
Where now is concrete,
Let me feel the dew
Across my bare feet.

Restore the hills
Where toboggans once slid,
By the long gone woods
Where we played and hid.

Let flow the water
In the now filled pond,
On which we skated
All winter long.

Rebuild our fort
In that secret place,
Of which we look
And see no trace.

Find that dirt road
Where that bridge once set,
On that old shaded lane ….

Are we there yet?
Last edited by Rassy48 on September 17th, 2012, 8:48 am, edited 2 times in total.


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Re: Are We There Yet?

Post by Dew » September 11th, 2012, 8:11 pm

Marvelous charm...enchanting thoughts...heavenly ending! Bravo! - Dew



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Rassy48
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Re: Are We There Yet?

Post by Rassy48 » September 12th, 2012, 9:30 am

Thank-you, Dew and to those of you who stopped by to read my creation. I do appreciate your comments. I just brought back my childhood for a few lines here. Seems like things like this are so remote and out of reach for kids today. We didn't have all of these fancy phones and electronics. We had sticks and ice skates, sleds, jump ropes, and so on. So different.
Last edited by Rassy48 on September 13th, 2012, 10:56 am, edited 1 time in total.


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Patdolan83
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Re: Are We There Yet?

Post by Patdolan83 » September 12th, 2012, 11:08 am

Nice write...speaks to me of the way things change, drastically in some cases


"I wouldn’t want you to want
To be wanted by me
I wouldn’t want you to worry
That You'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful
And wonderful is true
In truth I only really wanted
To be wanted by you"

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Re: Are We There Yet?

Post by .Nameless. » September 12th, 2012, 2:33 pm

Nice take on the "missing things long gone" theme. You can see what you're describing, and I miss it too, even if what I see isn't what you see, the general idea is the same. Nicely written piece here.


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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by nortan223 » January 26th, 2014, 12:26 pm

This brings back the joys of peaceful quiet cycl rides through the countryside, now replaced with hair-raising races along motorways, with the kids in the back and the endless mantra of "Are we there, yet".
Evocative writing. I loved it.

Norman


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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by tangerinepie » January 26th, 2014, 4:58 pm

Rassy 48..this reminded me of how much you are missed.This is a memorable and well written poem with some sad reflections..Congrats to you..Tangie..


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Rassy48
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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by Rassy48 » January 27th, 2014, 9:54 am

Tangie,

Thanks so much for your kind words. My husband passed away very suddenly in September. That, along with this chronic pain I put up with, has turned my world upside down. I am trying to get my urge to write to come back, but just nothing there yet. I know it's deep inside somewhere, though! Thanks, again.
Joanne


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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by Dew » January 27th, 2014, 10:22 am

Joanne, sorry for your loss...It's so soon right now, but I have every faith that a new you will emerge with a new pen and your hurts will transform into something we can all view and wonder at. Be well as living allows you dear! You have to embrace what pains come to be alive, but embrace guiltlessly the returns to joy as well. I feel awful for you - dew



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Rassy48
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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by Rassy48 » January 27th, 2014, 10:36 am

nortan223 wrote:This brings back the joys of peaceful quiet cycl rides through the countryside, now replaced with hair-raising races along motorways, with the kids in the back and the endless mantra of "Are we there, yet".
Evocative writing. I loved it.

Norman
Norman,

Thanks for your kind words. My dearest love, Larry, passed away very suddenly in September spinning my world upside down. I haven't felt much like writing. I know the urge is there ... just not ready to put pen to paper, so to speak. I'll get there. Thanks again, my friend,
Joanne


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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by candlewitch » January 27th, 2014, 11:13 am

Dear Rassy,

Bring back the good old days when life was simpler and children weren't so spoiled on modern day inventions... what do children need with cell phones? A great write which took me back! Congratulations!!!

always, Cat


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Rassy48
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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by Rassy48 » January 27th, 2014, 12:08 pm

Thanks, Cat. Yes, just give us a stick for a sword and a broom for a horse and away we ride to save the world. What a wonderful thing ... imagination.
Joanne


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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by dwells » January 27th, 2014, 1:27 pm

Almost there Rassy, just up ahead and around the corner. This felt like a trip in a time machine, or possibly a visit to The Twilight Zone (for those who might still remember). Some fine reminiscence and congrats on the spotlight! You brought it home nicely, cheers!


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Rassy48
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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by Rassy48 » January 27th, 2014, 1:43 pm

dwells wrote:Almost there Rassy, just up ahead and around the corner. This felt like a trip in a time machine, or possibly a visit to The Twilight Zone (for those who might still remember). Some fine reminiscence and congrats on the spotlight! You brought it home nicely, cheers!

dwells,

Thank-you so much for reading my creation and your kind words. I would trade those days for all the electronic gizmos in a minute! Progress is a good thing, but so is sliding down a hill on that old wooden red sled ... or the smell of fresh cut hay compared to fresh poured asphalt. Let's leave some of yesterday for tomorrow!
Joanne


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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by songofmeadow » January 28th, 2014, 12:27 pm

If only we could turn back time, I love how you use a well used phrase to your advantage in this poignant poem, thanks to the spotlight for highlighting mx


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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by rupertpupkin » January 28th, 2014, 3:41 pm

Hi, wonderful sentiments so well expressed and great rhyming and pace throughout. Loved the ending too. Most deserving of a spot light, well done, Sean.


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Rassy48
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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by Rassy48 » January 28th, 2014, 6:34 pm

songofmeadow wrote:If only we could turn back time, I love how you use a well used phrase to your advantage in this poignant poem, thanks to the spotlight for highlighting mx
meadow,
It just seems as though looking back, one develops an image a less hectic lifestyle. Families actually lived like families. Nature took over our minds and we really went places and did things. As I stated before, progress is a wonderful thing, as long as we don't let it swallow us.
Joanne


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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by Rassy48 » January 28th, 2014, 6:39 pm

rupertpupkin wrote:Hi, wonderful sentiments so well expressed and great rhyming and pace throughout. Loved the ending too. Most deserving of a spot light, well done, Sean.
Sean,
Thank-you so much for stopping by and reading my creation. I am trying to get the urge to write again and your kind words certainly help. Glad you enjoyed it.
Joanne


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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by DreamerMMA » January 29th, 2014, 1:15 am

This one really hit home for me.

I was a country boy, grew up in the woods and mountains.

I didn't get more than a couple of lines deep before a lot of memories came flooding in. I had to pause a few times while reading this to let it all sink in and marinate with my memories.

This is a fantastic poem, laced with nostalgia and longing. My inner child thanks you from his favorite play spot in the woods.



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Re: Are We There Yet?©

Post by everhopeful » January 29th, 2014, 8:30 am

No wonder our speaker was so eager to get there! This is a lovely, scenic piece of fond reminiscence penned in a way where it's so easy for the reader to connect to the speaker's experience, and set them thinking about the places in their own life with the same relevance and appeal.
The ending line was a wonderful way to show the speaker had fully regressed back to their childhood, and all of their enthusiasm was flooding out.
Nice to see you on the site again, and congratulations on the spotlight!



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